A Dream of Turquoise

Getting embroiled in dreams is dangerous. Pretending can be counterproductive, it keeps you from accepting things that cannot change. The past is not the sepia-toned idyll it sometimes seems, but by being encrusted in turquoise, one can find his peace of mind, his way of life, through his way of remembrance...

Chinese New Year

Let's get into the New yEar mood~~~~~~~

Another lunar year is coming, and every school is ready with its decorations. Yesterday when I went to Hwa Chong Junior College and Chinese High School I was assailed by the intense feeling of a New year. Red lanterns are hanged in the Kah Kee Hall which exhibited the sensational oil paintings of "The Story of Three Kingdoms" two months ago; pineapple-shaped lanterns have gained special popularity here, with them being seen in almost everywhere from convenience shops in Clementi Centre to the regional patrol stations in Yew Tee. Curtains are NUS High School's specialty. Red cloth delicately cut, sliced, twisted and curled before they were fixed to the awning of the teaching block, emanating an auspicious atmosphere as New(Niu) Year draws near.

Our school, no need to mention, with Mother Tongue Department so enthusiastic in heightening the new-year spirit way before it comes, has come up with a package of ways to encourage us to play a part in welcoming 2009 lunar new year. Besides classroom decoration which set class chairpersons into motion of creating a mini-niche of celebrating area, every performing arts group is racking their head to ensure the success of the New Year special performance. Tomorrow will be the day that we 1750 people and 100 staff squeezing in the school hall to enjoy the performance put up by various student groups. Let's wish them a great success.

After Chinese New Year the alleged "storm" will prevail and most possibly, overwhelm us without us being able to protest about it. As reality begins to set in, this year I have to juggle between my studies and SYF, debating club as well as my role as a student reporter. The road ahead is jagged and unpredictable, but with undeterred hope and a strong will, I believe I will be able to make it.

For now, Happy Lunar New Year, dude.

Orbit.

The Saturn rings never fail to appeal to me whenever I open an astronomical magazine. Being a fast-spinning planet, Mercury has its attraction as the star nearest to the Sun with a name reminiscent of something soothing. Venus, on the other hand, could also strike in me certain mysterious feelings of grandeur with its correlation with the ancient goddess in Greek myths, in an era when Trojans ployed their enemy with wooden horses and when Venus reveled in the same world with Zeus, Poseidon and Apollo, who collectively dominated the revving of the universe machine.

However, I find the rings of the Saturn the most fascinating. Not only do they strike me with its garguantuan number, they also show a revealing orbit that seems to run nonstop till the death of the universe. This serves as a strong encouraging power to me, who now teeters on the cusp of changes as the importance of perseverance begins to emanate.

Two weeks have passed with the time shown on my phone jumping forward like mad. Spinning like a blurry star on my predestined orbit every day, I am struggling to keep pace with my life. The recent release of O level results bore both joy and bitterness. I rejoiced with my seniors who have achieved well through their hardwork but also felt great pity for some of them who let fortune slip off their hands without a second glance. Though the majority of our school subject MSGs are high above National Average, there is still space to improve, given that our batch is the so-called most promising one with a precedentedly high cut-off point of 249 in PSLE.

The high target has been set to spur us on, which again reminds me of the unfathomable power in the universe that makes every star rotate on its orbit without going astray. One cannot stop pondering what magical power it is that pushes them to go on and what mystique force there exists that spurs them to revolve unrelentingly till their cataclysmic death as a supernova, an astronomical phenomenon yet fully grasped even by the most eminent astronomers. One thing is for sure, that is, no matter what force makes the star revolve, we have to draw power from our own determination, an energy source that never goes depleted.

As the Chinese New Year is looming, our last happy moment begins to emerge no sooner than it passes and the ordeal starts. As our teacher put it, once we enjoyed our Last Supper, it would be the time for "slaughter". She made a slashing gesture to reinforce the effect that made me half amused and half shuddering. It is hard to imagine after coaxing ang-pow from your parents, we will be the ones to be coerced to strive hard for the "great mission". Yet I am not whining at the impending plight, because somewhere in my heart I find this little pressure "endearing". It gives your life a direction, and thus gives your life a promise, like the invisible force pushing the star to spin on its orbit.

I am a star.

And we are the stars. We will shine our best glamour.

It is a promise, a direction, and it sets our orbit.

(P.S. Tomorrow will be the first day of Sec 1 Orientation Camp, here we go!)

Happy Birthday, Ma...

Ma,

Today is your Xth birthday and I never feel so close to you.

You always take my random speeches seriously and twist your eyebrows into a knot whenever you find me worried.

You always smile like a lotus flower that my friend says you are younger than me.

You always keep everything so organised that I could never find an excuse to complain.

You always speak "bad" English that renders me both embarrassed and amused.

And...

I love you so much for your occasional outbursts of laughters that sound like Grandma.

I love you so much for your stubborn solemnity whenever I offend you.

I love you so much for your understanding when I drop from a "crust" to a "trough".

I love you so much for your self-appreciation whenever you make a wise decision on choosing the right goods.

Let me whisper in your ears...

Do not forget to go for your regular medical check-up, or I will show you my trademark "cucumber face".

Do not overexert yourself at work and remember to walk around during "teapot" break(to check whether the water in the teapot is boiled or not).

Do not erase the words I wrote on our kitchen door before I left you one year ago. They show a childishly-phrased truth----"ma ma is a good thing".

Do not get nervous when I pour my "sour juice" on your heart. You know too well that I do not mean it.

Let's see...

I expect you to be a grandmother in 15 years.

I expect you to sing "Heng Duan Shan" in No.10 Block when I come back this year.

I expect you to cook "Fried Sauce Noodles" for us when it is your (X+1)th birthday.

I expect you to go snowfighting with me and see whether you can handle it when the next snow falls.

But before all that...

I will work hard and graduate happily.

I will stay healthy and sound.

I will keep worries off your mind and sweep away your sadness.

I will let you know that you are one of the treasures that I will defend with all my heart.

So...

Wait for me to finish my journey and come back to you.

Wait for me to dust off all my childishness and frivolousness.

Wait for me to snuggle against you in the cold winter nights.

Wait for me to give you a hug and a kiss...

And in such...

I shall wish you a most awesome birthday.

(And my old dad, if you are flipping through the dictionary to check out the meanings of my love with Ma, please remember to wear a sweater, it is cold in there, and nice sleep, Ba.)

Your forever awesome daughter,

Amy (DY)

Sec Four...

Sec Four life is such a buzz that I could barely get around to tend to my other leisures. Except for the built-up homework capacity and teachers' constant reminder of "what would happen in ten months", more I can feel is the untold pressure that is hidden inside everybody and the slight tenderness that emanates in my class whenever the word "graduation" is uttered. The life grows tougher as the release of Chinese O Level results is just around the corner, everyone's stomach would go through involuntary churning at the thought of the formidable "results". Maybe this kind of tension is one of those things that has to be experienced to be understood.

I remember the time when I got my graduation results in China. Since I had made up my mind to apply for overseas studies, the results to me were literally of very limited importance. While my classmates fought for the rare positions in the best High School in our city, I could take a breath and enjoy the elapse of time as the examination drew near. I was well prepared, though, thanks to my good foundation set in earlier years, I passed my high school admission examission with flying colours and wrestled a position out of many pupils' "dream factory". It was true that till that time I never went through real stress. We struggled against all odds to grasp new knowledge, but that was all for the fun of learning. In this way I lost my only chance to experience the "notorious" intense competition in Chinese education system. And I never regretted for it. What is wrong with learning for fun and getting fun from exploring new areas? Studying is not merely an academic issue, after all. And fortunately, I am one of those "freaks" who get a "life" from learning.

So now the Sec Four life begins and I am among those who can be labelled as "muggers". Daily schedules are set at bedtime and every morning I awake with a fresh mind. It seems a good way to start a year. I feel greatly heartened that my dear mum does not need to worry about me for the time being, though I can sense her slight nervousness every time she is on the phone, for fear of taking me too much time. Her invisible support is one of the driving forces that sustain me to look at the positive side of my life and not to lose heart in the face of challenges. I am greatly indebted to her for this. Tomorrow will be her birthday, here I wish her as young and beautiful as ever, and I will do my best not to disappoint her.

In Sec Four, I also face more Council duties and CCA activities as the preparation for the SYF is a hot topic through and through. This Saturday we have CCA Extravaganza for newcomers and next week we will attend Sec 1 Orientation Camp in which stronger bonds will be built when we all play games and cheer together. In addition, I find mentoring my juniors an "awesome" experience. Seeing them go through what I now take for granted, I can see how much I have grown in my one year's studying here. I can see how tiny buds blossom into impressive florescences as we approach our late teens.

Beyond doubt, 2009 is a crucial year, someone puts it pivotal year regarding to the upcoming O Level ordeal we all have to go through. Again, we will all face difficulties in different forms, but one thing is certain----we will all grow, and we will all improve. Which level of improvement we will achieve lies not in yesterday, not in tomorrow, but in the present. So as the gravity of being a Sec 4er begins to set in, let's all work hard for "what will happen in ten months" and determine "what will happen in ten months".