Vascillations~

It is the first Monday that I felt such Monday blues, and this time it was different. I could not get off the "floating feelings" from me and it all seemed as if some sequence has been omitted. Honestly, the day dawned fine when I collected my ICA form for my student pass renewal form through a successful E-Appointment, but everything later seemed to begin to uncoil and entangle me into a big mass of confusion.

The ISLE Election should be the trigger. After a two-day bonding camp, there still seemed to be a giant chasm spanning across us, numbing our senses, preventing us from getting close to each other. The tense atmosphere indeed took a toll on me. I thought that my weakness was that I was not emotional, but the reality was the reverse. I am, irrevocably, an emotional creature and bogged down too much by my emotions. The fact that such blues could not be easily defused showed that I should learn Occlumency seriously.

Now, sitting in this nice Shaw Foundation Library with my best friend, I feel nothing is so terrible that cannot be overcome!

I've got my spirit back, because of you~

Thanks Bianca!

Cappuccino

A sweet day started with a heavy downpour but ended in a fantastic way. The transformation within twenty-four hours from deploration to bliss was simply amazing. The renewed energy is burning inside me. Now, I feel so charged, so hopeful, and so blessed.

It is my best Easter ever. I have never felt so close to God and to my Angel. It is not simple magic. It is great magic, and I feel like part of an amazing organisation that is turning on a wonderful way. Being simply myself with my very own confidence and bubbly nature is so rewarding! I begin to feel empowered and tremendously loved:)

A simple, maybe exaggerated encouragement can spice up my day. That really made me smile! I shall strive to be a better self for those caring for me, supporting me till the end, and those always being there, like a guardian angel.

Good night, Angel:)

A Very Own "Your" water

Confusion keeps emerging every day, every moment, in any form, and takes any part of your soul. Doubts engulf my feelings whenever a strong, really strong opinion is presented. Strong opinions are overwhelming. Some can be really loathsome. I should have had the sense to fend it off, brush is away like any annoying little flies. Like the wise man has said, the opinion can be kept forever, and you sometimes do not need even bother to prove it wrong~

However, consider it a tragedy when a self-manifesting glory is so debased, insulted and tramped upon. Even an overtly brutal generalisation can have an impact. WE ARE...how can "we" be generalised into an "are"? Everyone, every single one of us in this water is unique! It is such a debasing of all of our's intelligence and hardwork to label us "we"! Some are different from others, and within the some, a smaller "some" are different from others. We do have a common characteristic, and that is the very fact that we embrace life with all of our vigour, are proud of ourselves for the right reasons, and content in our own ways. That common trait makes us "us". Period.

I know the awful phenomenon does occur, and I know that something is in its imperfect state and that there is nothing we can do about it, but I do believe that such imperfection should not be aggrandised, overstated, and abused to an extent that the only blemish blocks everything else.

The pessimistic one should know that our world, through your very eyes, is twisted by your very vision since YOU ARE NOT IN IT. The one kept outside the orchard will always hold prejudice against the fruit INSIDE, and the one who has grown up loathing a certain system will end up cursing that specific system till the end of one's life. I permit such strong opinion to exist, but I neither tolerate nor accept it.

Living a fulfilling life is not about choice, only. It is about preferences! I can choose either, but I PREFER this. If much is not realised as much is given, that is my crime; but if much expected is not achieved as far as you are concerned, do you really think that counts?

Choosing something entails incurring an opportunity cost, but this does not mean that you are doing a losing business. Consider marginal benefit, not absolute loss! If there are so many people fighting their lives for the privelege of having to incur that opportunity cost, you cannot possibly say that it is a formidable cost, or a doom~

Reciprocation is not always desired. Our minds are not always heard, but we do not need them to always be searched, either. Some day, one day, I will share my query with a trustable friend, who belongs to part of the prophecy of the doomsayer, and who is smarter than me in flushing off that pessimistic thought.

We are the marvellous fish species swimming in this dynamic sea. We are lovin' it. Seriously, people are created different. You can keep your own set of values, why can't we?

Moreover, since you have known our choice all along, why don't you want us to prove you wrong, for once? Is it due to proudness? Come-on! My self-fulfilling prophecy works better than yours~

Rediscovery~

"Day after day, year after year, men still try to impress, and women still yearn to be impressed. It is a world of hunters predating on the prey, and the prey so powerless with that tinge of reluctance to reflect the lethal, sweet blow. It is a world of self-fulfilling prophecy coming slowly to reality, of attraction based on intended desire, anticipated admiration, and ultimately, with a shiver down my spine, I say, designed programme. It is a world of rationalism clashing with "emotica", the clash of two Titans, irrevocably, unretrievably, and inevitably, hard to resist."

"If I believe Biology can do one thing for me, please, let it be fended off, or me get dragged in, but leave my heart as a whole---- my very own ego and pride. There is nothing there to unravel it. Anytime, any longer."People say,"a princess never bows, like a scorpion never gives up stinging".But why cannot she do either? So she bows, and she hides her sting...