Stay~~~

It is not time for departure yet, but the atmosphere of leaving has already begun to brew in the air...

In one month and a few days, the dormitory will be much less crowded, because after the formidable mid-year examination, which is a lot of people's "first time" since secondary school, herds of students will fly back to spend the precious holiday with their own parents, friends and relatives.

A lot of my friends are determined to go, I am an exception.

June holiday is a perfect period for reunion. Although at present we are only at the beginning of April, the haze of preparing for departure seems to become an inevitable fashion, you can perceive every taft of their enthusiasm hidden in their seemingly normal daily life. Herds of students flocked into the Internet in search of the latest information about airline travel agencies; air fare has become their most favourate topic while they sip hot milo in the most carefree manner; countdown to the departure date is performed as a ritual nearly every night, with their friends' faces appearing in their sweet dreams and sound sleep; agenda after going back to China has been elaborately tabulated and hung on the wall as a reminder; details of scenery in China and every aspect of lifestyle in our hometown are recalled......

Everything seems to challenge my determination to stay with the most irresistible temptation...

Yesterday, on the way to the Chemistry lab, Daniel told me that he would phone me as soon as he landed on China. At first, I was greatly moved by his tender consideration, at least, he knew that loneliness was beginning to crawl into my life since then. However, what he said next could show nothing but humorous malign," I will tell you all the wonderful things in China", followed by a menacing laugh which sent chill downwards my marrow. "I will decribe to you those yummy noodles, school campus, agreeable weather..."he continued, I showed him a feigned frow with my lips curving downwards, pretending to be filled with indignance, he surrendered and stopped without further ado.

Indeed, as soon as they gained the perception that I would stay, jokes like this kind began to wash over me. They guffawed terribly when Mr Lam(our fatherly, loveable principal) announced that those who stay here would have to "enjoy" English lessons and Mr Chia(a funny, corpulent,humorous maths teacher) would take those "wonderful kids" to do CIP(community involved programme). Of course, I am not in the slightest disappointed about their arrangements for my future life, after all, I can have more personal interaction with these affable teachers and it is a great chance for me to do what I cannot do during school time. Furthermore, I can venture Singapore more with my friends HERE if they are hospitable enough. And the most important point is that MY PARENTS ARE COMING, so it is actually a small-scale reunion abroad.

Although I use capital letters to show the fact, I am not as exuberant as I seem to be. It takes COURAGE to stay~~~when others are faraway, enjoying their companion with their friends who they have not seen for a whole year, to hear their voices, sit face to face picturing their bygone days spent together, sharing with each other their magnificent adventures after graduation, retrospecting those moving scenes when they stepped into the campus for the last time with tears uncontrollably swelling out of their eyes...

I never want to compare my life in June with theirs, for I know clearly that such comparison is futile...the contrast is too striking.

But I do not regret at my decision.

I know what is best for me to do. I know my expectation, as well as the expectations of my loved ones.
I can see the jubilation radiated from their eyes when they knew that I was to stay.
I can here their voices trembling when they promised to provide me as many help as they can.
I can feel the relief in their hearts when they knew at least there was SOMEBODY who regarded here as a second home.

I do not want to disappoint them by my obstinate departure which is against their wills...
I do not want to leave with a broken promise that I will stay...
I do not want to be overwhelmed by the flood of nostalgia for I know that I have already built the strongest dam in my heart...

So, I will stay, with ease and relief, to abide by my promise, to welcome my loved ones.
Perhaps when I finally come back, I will receive even bigger surprises...