Breathe and Take a Ride

Life is like a roller coaster now: one moment you wallow at the plight of your misfortune, another moment you become unfazed by what could have burned you up. Not only one's mood becomes volatile like a beaker of alcohol vaporising in the open air; one's mind is go whirling from one polar to another, without suitable reasons to account for all these changes. Could all these be the symptoms of distress? Should not be. The real slaughter is yet to begin. But I have heard the sounds of knife-sharpening and smelt a scent of sordid death right there waiting to cloak us all.

The gravity of being a graduating student really sinks in. For the first time in my life, I begin to use a timetable and really keep my schedule for more than two weeks. My life is more organised that way, with every hour being alloted to perform diffrent tasks. This rids me of the confusion of thinking over what to do for the next day and motivates me to go on even when my mood goes from the zenith to the nadir.

In the new year, I begin to learn more and more about the limitations of myself that have lurked unobserved previously. Instead of mourning and pitying about them, I set to view them in a new light. Maybe it is my fortune to view my weakness in such a positive light, or maybe it is just a disguised excuse that I seek for myself; I prefer it to be the former.

My seniors' JC results were released someday last week. Disappointment was the basic mood while resignation took the second fiddle. Competition is so intense that it is hard for us scholars to get a footing; a strong, firm, unwavering footing. The situation for 2009 is just as formidable: one has to move on or one will drift back.

With more and more issues in my hands at the same time, I take a joy in juggling my life. Sometimes it is really hard to strike a balance between study and life; sometimes you just get engrossed in the task you are doing and all other worries are pushed back. Sometimes you find solace in the peace of a balmy night; sometimes you are plagued by inexorable anxiety that encroaches on your heart.

No matter what Sec4 life has in store for me, I will sail ahead; no matter what kind of tempest I will face, I will fight through; no matter how many times bitterness dominates my heart, I will always find the way out--the way directing to my dream, against all odds.

Nice sleep, babe.