Adieus~

This is my last letter before the holiday ends. After school reopens, I will be hurled into a whole new frenziness that will not allow my brain to function outside academics. The seven-day break is really not enough for me, but I really have to say that I have learnt a lot these days from all the activities I took part in, and the mental juggle I am going through.

After my last letter to you about the struggle between a westernized and a traditional midnset, I suddenly realise that there is no difference too wide to bridge. There are sacrifices, which we call "opportunity costs" in economics, that we have to incur when we choose one way instead of the other. So now seeing that most of my old pals, whom I have shared the same memories in my early years, end up happily in their dream universities in either Beijing, Shanghai, or Zhejiang, Guangdong, I feel a void that I am not with them. A void is not like a pity. It is not real regret but the feeling you have when you have to make a pick between two "mutually exclusive" choices. One, or the other. Not both. Never will I get both. So now when I read the blog posts of my friends in my middle school, read about their lives, their feelings, their very own joy and sorrow, I feel so detached. Maybe that is how you always feel when you read my letters. The flaky detachment when time and space just do not fit. Sometimes the whole mood can be wrong, too.

I begin to wonder how the same product would end up in two different factories, like myself. How will I end up in China. Sure I will be able to talk your "talking", use your "buzzwords", follow your trends, and moreover, think the way you people think. I cannot. Sometimes I envy you people's Chinese capability, when it suddenly dauned on me that it is myself, by reading The Times, Newsweek, The Economist, and other weekly, monthly, double-monthly...Elle, Seventeen, Vogue, etc, that I leave no time for the all-so-expressive language.

Certain events in this holiday drove that gloominess away and affirmed me that life can be soooooooo enriching right here. In the past few days, I successfully passed the 2nd Round interview and become a World Vision Singapore Youth Ambassador^^. Staying up late has become a lifestyle, too. Almost for every day since Junior College started (expect for exam days) I have to sleep after 12:30, sometimes painstakingly even later, to deal with my work, academic and non-academic.

The day before yesterday I went for volunteer work in the Autism Resource Centre for children with autistic problems and other mental disabilities. It was both a shock and great grief for me to see poor kids like that. We as volunteers played with them in the Labrado Park, cooked some food with solid fuel (I was the expert in making popcorns) and accompanied them for a night hike. There were times when things really got difficult. They could shut down all of a sudden and not talk to you or even look at you. Some went too hyper and talked to themselves, some had no sense of boundaries beween boys and girls. We lot had a difficult time but it made me realise how rewarding the whole experience was!
The day ended late till ten so I had to make up for my work late into night. Since the next day (yesterday) was another service day of street fund-raising for Jamiyah Children's Home for the Orphaned, and I had a class outing! in the afternoon, I went to bed the previous day at about 2:30am to read about Copenhagen Conference, China's currency issue, Japan's commercial whaling, Armenian's disputed massacre and all that for my General Paper. And yesterday I had no choice but to get up at 6:50, rushing to Orchard for fund-raising. I raised a lot (better than the boys there) and right after noon I jumped into my casual clothes that I brought with me and was off for class outing.

You can imagine how sleepy I was when we were eating at Fish& Co. Actually I ordered nothing since I had a bowl of 排骨面 before with the fund-raising people. I was fighting with sleepiness in the cinema when we watched Alice in the Wonderland. Thankfully Manfred shared chips with me so I could stay awake. After the movie I was so kind that I went to Swenson's with them. Of course I did not order anything in that ultra-expensive ice cream shop, but I did taste a bit of Manny's omelette and -.- French fries. (I hate it when guys can eat French fries twice a day and still stay in good figure>.<) There was a model friend, Nikki in my class with us, too. Being with her made me feel oh-so-traditional, haha~.~ She is very pretty indeed:)

I could not fall asleep when I took public transport home because we needed to talk, I stay in the same place as Manny so we got off at the same station. When I reached home I felt so tired. But today I still managed to get up early and finish my two GP essays. (I've attached them so you can read them and try to write something in your free time)

It has been raining heavily this whole holiday. The rain did not dampen my spirit. I feel much better after this hectic but fruity holiday. Now I cannot wait for the school to reopen. But I have to catch up my school work like mad since I haven't been studying these few days
I'll write to you again when I come to my senses after all another frenzy school term. You must be freaking busy, too. So reply when you feel “天时、地利、人和”. There is no need to rush.

(I know how flaky this letter seems, but that's about my life recently. You must feel awayyyyy detached, err..sorry for that, but you love listening to stories, right? :P)

~.~